no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
