just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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