i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
