Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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