My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
