They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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