Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize