hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize