Dual....:-)
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
