life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
