It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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