Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
