my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
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