i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
