I've blown a few things in my day
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
