Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
