didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Randomize
