Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
