gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
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