sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
You smell like stripper and shame
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
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