Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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