just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
i've created a new STD.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Randomize
