If i come over, it means nothing
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
