he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
