i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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