If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
