Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
