i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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