Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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