that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
