it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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