That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
