There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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