After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Randomize
