Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
