he has the hands of the vagina gods.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Can you bring me the toilet please
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
