The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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