She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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