just tell him i said nine months
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
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