I got chris browned last night
lets start a swedish sibling band together
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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