considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
