I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I have tasted many bathrooms
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
