and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
You pole danced in your parka.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
