You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
