I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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