There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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