He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
