okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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