Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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