Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
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it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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