I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I could fuck to npr.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
