Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
