If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
