Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
