Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
