you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize