I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
pray to the hookup gods
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
