I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
