Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
two words: eviction party
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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