When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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