I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
