yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
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Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
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My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
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