Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize