Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
